Just some random thoughts, Please do read

I guess, I can't always run away from myself....
I can't always run away from my feelings
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Either way ..it's always too difficult to deal with those .....
It's always too difficult to figure out what they want .....
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Being a human ....isn't quite easy .....
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Sometimes I don't even understand myself .....
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But ....I can know when I'm running away still I can't help with it ......
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Times when I confront myself with full awareness are rare ....
Coz mostly ....I'm either block my nerves by smoking or I'm too exhausted too feel anything .....
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I don't live much consciously ......
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Coz ....your 'self' seeks reasons .....
It always want to do something ......
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Being aware or conscious about everything ....gives you many results and data ....
It lets you know ...what you have to do ....what you are doing ...and what not ....
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It makes you realize your mistakes ....as well as your good choices too ...
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By analyzing this data ...you can figure out what you gonna do next .....
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Living a life in algorithms is quite boring ....
That's why we are given hearts ...and creativity ....that's why we seek music art and love .....
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It's time to sleep ....but like back days I'm feeling like I've just woken up ....
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When you are fully conscious ...all your senses work perfectly .....
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The positivity in your life can be seen ...when you stop using the word not .....
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Maybe ....it can't be helped .....
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I can't run away from my feelings ....
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As the winters are coming ....I feel too much .....it brings a lot lot memories back.....
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This feeling shakes you up till your core .....
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When I feel too much ....I want to say too much too ....I want to let it out .....
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So that ....I could feel it .....more deeply ......
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I know that letting you know all these things doesn't change anything .....
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But ....it does .....deep in the way I feel about it ......
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Deep in the way ...I wish things could have been ......
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I can see how stories formed back in the past .....
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I can clearly see .....all those faces .....all these things ...like they still exist somewhere ........
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Sometimes I don't understand the concept of time ....
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Sometimes ....I don't truly believe on me ....
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I don't believe that I'm actually a bad person with a dark subconscious ......
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When those memories comes back ....it feels like they are cleansing your heart and soul .....and filling you up with more and more life energy ......
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Sometimes ....I think I shouldn't have stop ....I shouldn't stop......
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I've to let myself continue walk on the path ......
The path ...my heart wants to go .......
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I can't stop writing .....
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I can't stop loving ....
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I can't stop feeling ....
I can't stop living .......
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..I just complain too much about how bad things are .....instead turning them into good ....
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I give up easily ......
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But I guess I can't do that anymore ......
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I'm dk Patkar .....
I'm the person I used to believe in ....
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I believed in all his madness ....craziness ....and all kinds of stupidity ...
I believed in all of my actions .....
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I really believed in myself ...more than anyone ever did .....
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But.....most of the time ....I let myself down ...I let others down ....and thus I lost all my confidence ......all my belief .....
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And ....it all lead ....the way things went in past ....
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But now isn't the time to regret about the past ....but to change the past ....
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Now I have chance to ...make people friends ....
To sharpen my skills .....and to learn things once again ......
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And it's His mercy that ...things are so much in favor of mine .......
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It's not a farewell ....I'm going to write something ......